My Story (Ch1Pt1)

Every conversion begins with a story. This book is no exception to myself. This book is part narrative, part theology, and part philosophy. It reflects me. It's entirety is a story in itself, but it is much more. The journey I have walked has shaped my beliefs, my perspective on my beliefs, and my desire to believe certain things over others. It has done the same for you. So the first part of this journey is to lay our cards on the table. We cannot move further if we think we can be in relationship with God in a vacuum.

I: The Structure of the Story

In this story I want to convey how the choices I made throughout the journey were what ultimately led to

my eventual and in many ways inevitable backslide from the faith. But most importantly through it all, even in the darkness, something was being worked in me. I don't mean to hint to any "supernatural" work of God, but rather ideas and beliefs have a way of embedding themselves into our psyche in such a way that we cannot deny them, even when we are in the physical process of denying them. The term that has been most aptly applied to this event is "cognitive dissonance", the circumstance where two opposing beliefs are held simultaneously. I can testify that cognitive dissonance exists and that it can be detrimental to Christian faith. The cure for cognitive dissonance is good conscience. Good conscience is aided by simplicity.

There is Biblical grounds to make this claim, "keeping faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and suffered shipwreck in regard to their faith" (1 Tim. 1:19 NAS). Later, Paul says that having a good conscience is the measure of a leader in the church (3:9). And in the chapter after that Paul equates the dulling of our conscience to demonic activity (4:2). The Biblical teaching of a good conscience goes beyond 1 Timothy. 

It is throughout the corpus of Paul's litany. In Romans, Paul teaches that the laws of God are discernible through our conscience (2:15) and that our conscience bears the witness of the Holy Spirit (9:1). And Paul makes clear what the Biblical understanding of our conscience is in 1 Corinthians. When the issue of eating meat sacrificed to idols is brought up, Paul simply asks what one's conscience says (10:27-29). But in a brilliant fashion Paul notes that if one is asking the question then one clearly has a conscientious objection to it, and should be aware of that, plus as a believer we are not merely responsible for our own conscience, but the conscience of our brother. Just as it is not cool to drink in front of an alcoholic we have to look out for each other. Paul is not the only teacher of a good conscience in the New Testament. 

Peter also says in his epistle, "sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence ; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame" (1 Peter 3:15-16 NAS). And elsewhere Peter says how baptism is a sign of our good conscience in Christ (3:21).

The Bible affirms having a good conscience. It affirms it in the practice of faith, and in the maintaining of faith, and it affirms it in the achievement of faith, our baptism. It affirms the activity of the Holy Spirit in a good conscience, and it affirms the activity of the demonic in a dull conscience. Thus, from this teaching, the Christians can measure objectively his own status with God according to the level of cognitive dissonance present, or not present, in one's belief system.

But a good conscience is in itself a rather abstract term. A sociopath can have a good conscience. Right? Well, that would imply that by good, what we mean is a state of non-contradiction with other states. In this regard, a sociopath has no conscience at all. A good conscience will certainly have an equilibrium with all other beliefs, but this cannot be the only qualifier. Although, I think it can be a significant one. After all, one can argue that by simply living, one must make a continual choice to live and this implies a conscious value for life that is disregarded by the sociopaths lack of value for other people's lives. One does not have to make a case for intrinsic values that must be accounted for in this regard, because they are already implied in the act of living which everyone must conscientiously participate in. Rather, instead of looking for moral absolutes to underpin what a good conscience must represent, it is more advantageous to consider methodological aids which accompany the attainment of good conscience.

In this regard, simplicity is the fore-bearer of good conscience. Philosophically, this is easier to see then Biblically, but we will consider both, and there is a case to be made for both. We have made the claim that a good conscience is such a state that maintains an equilibrium with all other beliefs, some beliefs are necessary, like the belief that life is valuable, others are more contingent, like the belief that bridges are the best method of crossing water. From this idea of equilibrium, simplicity of belief becomes the primary arbiter of whether or not such beliefs conform to good conscience. Simplicity, thus signifying the degree of ease a belief integrates itself to other beliefs. Thus, we can derive a very reliable and testable method of determining whether or not a person is living in good conscience. Are they living a simple life? Thus, it can be argued that the more simply a person chooses the live the less likely it will be to detect cognitive dissonance in their beliefs.

Simplicity is not just a philosophic virtue. It is also a Biblical one. It is a bit harder to piece together in the New Testament corpus, because it's language has been determined culturally and philosophically, but it is present. Paul tells the Corinthians church that our devotion to Christ is marked by simplicity and purity (2 Cor. 11:3). The word he uses is aploteß (572), which means "singleness, simplicity, sincerity, mental honesty, the virtue of one who is free from pretense and hypocrisy, not self seeking, openness of heart manifesting itself by generosity". In the Bible this word had two meanings which coalesced into a dual interpretation on most accounts. In most uses in the New Testament this word is used in conjunction with a generous person. The meaning implied is that the simpler you live and the less you need, the more you will be able to give (8:2, 9:11, 13, Ro. 12:8). There is a derivative of this word (573) which denotes clarity of vision. For the New Testament writers simplicity was a virtue that led to the benefit of others.

There is another word in the New Testament which correlates with simplicity and that is hsucazo (2270). It is the idea of a simple life, or quite life. Paul tells the Thessalonian church to have an "ambition to lead a quite life" (1 Thess. 4:11). It means, "to keep quiet, to rest, cease from labor, to lead a quiet life, said of those who are not running hither and thither, but stay at home and mind their business, to be silent, i.e. to say nothing, hold one's peace". In this sense, it is not the minimalist mentality that leads to simplicity, but a commitment to hard work and self-reliance that leads to simplicity and ultimately the generosity of the church. In Ephesians 4:28, believers are admonished to work hard so that they can have more to give to others. In 2 Thessalonians 3:10-13 Paul teaches believers that not leading this quite, self-reliant life leads to idleness and gossiping which divides the church.

This word is also used in 1 Timothy to instruct believers that a quiet, hard-working, and self-reliant life leads to holiness (2:2). And Peter uses this word to convey that it results in inner beauty, or the inner integrity of heart (1 Peter 3:4). There are other words used to denote simplicity, like Acts 2:46, "Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart". Paul uses another word to denote simplicity in 1 Timothy 6:6, "But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment." And the word used for "contentment" (841) means, "a perfect condition of life in which no aid or support is needed, sufficiency of the necessities of life, a mind contented with its lot, contentment".  And perhaps the best connection in scripture between simplicity and good conscience is found in 2 Corinthians 1:12, " For our proud confidence is this : the testimony of our conscience, that in holiness and godly sincerity [simplicity], not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially toward you."

The Biblical testimony confirms our philosophic conviction that simplicity is the manifestation of good conscience. Granted, "simplicity" is a harder term to nail down then "good" when it comes to actually recognizing it. In the New Testament alone we can see at least five words which convey the idea of simplicity. What does a simple life look like? And more importantly, what about a simple belief structure to organize information? It seems in trying to understand simplicity we make things very complex. And we kinda miss the whole point. But it is important to consider the Biblical witness to what is being said, because simplicity and good conscience are the foundation of what will be argued for in this book.

These are not just good philosophic ideas, they are also good Biblical ideas, and this is the story of how I came to find this out...